Host Family: A Biography.

Family photo on Cijin Island.

Like any family, my host family had it's crazy, it's weird and it's wonderful moments. I thought I would share with you some outstanding qualities of each member so that you can better know who they are. My host family was a normal size (by Taiwan standards), consisting of a mom, dad, older son, and younger son.

Tina.

Host Mom
Name: Tina (English), Ms. Chuang (Chinese, not really it's Chuang!).
Hobbies: Organizing play dates for her children (including myself), declaring "No Chinese" days for her children, being bossy, cooking awesome breakfast, making mango-pineapple juice, planning events, and showing off her trophy foreigner to others. 
Most memorable moment: She came with me to Taipei after the homestay was over and at the farewell banquet gave me a giant huge... She didn't let go until we were both in tears.
Likes: She kept me busy with tours, events, food and play dates.
Dislikes: She really did treat me like one of her children! Did I mention I am twenty-three?

Pictured on far left. You can also see his parents who joined us from time to time.

Host Dad
Name: Mr. Ou (He has the same family name as Obama - He mentioned it often)
Hobbies: Driving us around town, speaking gibberish (I could never understand his Chinese), riding around on an awesome orange collapsible bike and shouting.
Most memorable moment: Driving in the car, he finally decides to play some music and he sings aloud to a song sung by a women way out of his range. Instant love.
Likes: He had a car, which meant we could go anywhere.
Dislikes: Could never talk to him because I could never understand his Chinese. Worst Taiwanese accent on the universe and no English.

Alex the silly.

Alex loved food!

Host Brother 1
Name: Alex (English), Ou Su Yi  (Chinese)
Hobbies: Playing UNO, eating six bowls of rice at every meal, speaking English, translating Carlos' awful Chinese or English to Tina, Angry birds, Touching my computer screen, magic tricks, eating and angering his mother.
Most memorable moment: I taught him the joke about the double meaning of sea food/see food. He used it successfully at various moments during dinner that day.
Likes: Ability to speak English, always knew which food I would like, bad at playing uno and he knew magic!
Dislikes: Too clingy, enjoyed making Jimmy mad, obsession with my smart phone.

We are still working on his jumping photos, but his future looks promising.

Jimmy.

Host Brother 2
Name: Jimmy (English), Ou Jia Mi (Chinese)
Hobbies: Angry birds, UNO, being cute, throwing tantrums, playing paper-scissors-rock, eating ice cream, handing my hand, posing for pictures and being a picky eater.
Most memorable moment: High-fiving each other after our team won a game of basketball!
Likes: Great a jumping photos, was respectful, darn cute and I could understand all of his Chinese.
Dislikes: Suffered a little emperor syndrome at times, got angry at times giving him the nickname Mr. Angrybirds Jimmy.

My host family was wonderful!

Our first meeting.

Barbarians Eat Chicken... With gloves.

One of my last days in Kaohsiung and my host family decides to take me to a placed called dream mall for a special treat.

Wow 'Dream Mall,' I think to myself, must be awesome. And it was! Dream Mall is huge and has a ferris wheel on the roof and tons of expensive stuff not worth buying.

Little did I know the 'treat' my host family was talking about was eating at Taiwan's own food sensation, a place call Century 21. They sell rotisserie chicken meals. ROTISSERIE CHICKEN! For about 450 Taiwan Dollars the whole family shared a WHOLE chicken, fries, salad, sweet potato fries and some friend chicken.

Host mom: Do you have this food in the USA?
Me: Bahaha, yes. I think we invented it.
Host mom: (surprised) Really? Is it expensive.
Me: Nope its pretty cheap.
Host mom: And how does the taste compare because this is a Taiwanese company and its famous.
Me: (are you kidding me!) Its about the same.

The most ridiculous part is that they believe it to amazing and a special treat (cute) AND they eat it with their bare hand WHILE WEARING PLASTIC GLOVES!

Do you like?

There seems to be an apparently mis-communication in the Taiwanese education system with the verbs ‘like’ and ‘want.’ This has been evident with my host family in the week that I have lived with them.

Host brother: Carlos, do you like ice cream.

Me: Yes, I like ice cream.

Host brother: Mother, Carlos wants ice cream, he likes it a lot and wants to eat it.

Host mother: Husband, let’s get Carlos some ice cream.

Me: I don’t want any ice cream right now.

Everyone: (confusion ensues)

Another prime example of where the Taiwanese confuse the verb ‘like’ with the verb ‘want.’

Host brother: Carlos, do you like mountain climbing.

Me: (with my inability to express a mild liking for things I say…) Yes, I like it a little.

Host brother: Mother, Carlos loves mountains and climbing them.

Host mother: I will call my sister, she lives near a mountain we can climb. Tomorrow morning we will go, okay?

Me: I don’t want to go mountain climbing today or tomorrow.

Everyone (confusion ensues)

Just keep swimming.

The Taiwanese swimming pool rules are a little extreme. My host brothers both take swimming lessons and I got to accompany them to the pool, along with Lucy one day.

Host Mother: Did you bring swim clothes?

Me: Yes!

Host Mother: Okay, bring them. What about a swim cap? Goggles?

Me: Hahahaa, is that a joke, of course not.

Host Mother: I have some you borrow.

We arrive at the pool, all is good to go. I go into the men’s locker room and discover that everyone must shower before going into the pool. Sure, no problem. I put in my swim gear and head out to the pool.

Host Mother: Where is your swim clothes?

Me: I’m wearing them.

Host Mother: (Really confused) Huh? Okay, I will ask.

She walks over to the pool lifeguard/lord/rules man to ask if it is okay that I wear my ‘swim clothes’ to the pool. All is approved and I get to swim.

Taiwan Swimming Pool Rules:

1. Only Speedos or tight spandex allowed in the pool. NO SWIM TRUNKS! Exception: Carlos the foreigner who looks clueless about everything.

2. All persons must wear protective swim caps.

3. If you are not swimming laps you must get out of the pool or pretend you are swimming laps.

4. Goggles are strongly recommended, so much so that they are mandatory.

5. After you finish swimming you must jump in the zero-degrees-Celsius water followed by the 32-degree-Celsius water. It’s good for the body (Um, NO).

6. No jumping in the pool, no splashing, no laughing, no fun, no talking to others – YOU ARE THERE TO SWIM.

Can I get a Woof Woof.

Dogs! The Taiwanese love their dogs! They are everywhere, but not your typical ASPCA rescue dogs, small fluffy, groomed, with low self-esteem dogs! Everywhere!

In their purse, on their scooters, in their backpacks, at the park, at the restaurant and the store, EVERYWHERE. 

Also, apparently Taiwan has it’s own breed of dog – “it is small and has short hair,!” as it was explained to me by some locals. Wikipedia calls it the Formosan Mountain Dog. Dogs appear to be a fashion trend here. You aren’t up-to-date with the latest fashion if you don’t have a small dog in your bag. I guess the acid-wash jeans, hammer pants, and crazy-as wrinkled skinny jeans weren’t enough.

Shhhh – The Kaohsiung Library.

In typical Carlos-fashion, I had to take a little visit to the public library here in Kaohsiung. I was rather impressed by how modern and awesome it was in comparison to the public libraries I visited in China. 

Notice the book drop!

1. The library is FREE! Yes, you can use a computer and check out books for FREE – just as it should be. Although, here the initial period to check out was 28 days – TWENTY-EIGHT! (Step it up TCCL).
2. People actually go there to read and do research, not just study. The library here does a good job at having events and programming for kids and such. They like making it FUN! It was a little louder than I would have liked, but hey, sometimes having fun is a lively activity.
3. Your books as cleaned when you check them out! Yes, you heard right, cleaned! Once you check out your books they are zapped by a machine to be clean. Some kind of UV rays or something, I dunno.

It was funny because I found myself getting lost inside the Library because it was so cool. I browsed the English children’s book area first and selected a few good books for my host brothers (As requested by my mother Tina). They had some quality kid's titles like “Chicka, Chicka, Boom Boom,” some Earl Carle books, Amber Brown, Because of Winn Dixie, and PC Cast. I was surprised to see the whole School of Night series there, PC Cast (Oklahoma author for those of your who wait for the movie to come out).

I then proceeded to impress my host mom with my knowledge of children’s books, what age levels each were appropriate with and how libraries work in the US. Not to mention that fact that I know P.C. Talked to a few locals about the library (They all love it!) and checked out some books. Good work Taiwan with your public library – approved!

Circulation Desk.

Zapping our books clean. Many people touch books, we must clean.

Look familiar youth librarians?

I asked if I could take a picture. She said yes, but apparently meant no. 

The Goose Who Laid The Sour Egg

Goose eggs. What do you think of when I say “goose egg?” For me, it’s usually Veruca Salt and her golden goose egg, but not in Taiwan. Nope, here they love their goose eggs sour!

Finished product.

I took a visit to Bing Dong and some of the locals had a sour goose egg production line going where you could select your regular goose egg and turn it into the delicious (opinions may vary) sour good egg. Here is how you make a sour goose egg:

1. Acquire a goose to lay a goose egg.
2. Take the goose egg and throw it in a mixture or sour spices and who knows what.
3. Once it is fully covered in mud seal it.
4. Let I t sit for 25 days.
5. Ta-da, you have a sour goose egg.
6. Eat that egg.

Step 2.

Magic assembly line.

Description of  a sour goose egg – Black with a slight tint of green, gelatin-looking albumen with a yellow yolk. Taste like a regular egg plus a pickle with mustard. Yum! 

Love Is In The Air & It Smells Like Fish.

What. A. Day.

Ever been to an Ocean Expo/Boat Exhibition (OEBE)? Yes, really? In a foreign country? No you haven’t! Well, I have and it was pleasant! There was Ocean and Boat and clown and food and the Love River!

What made this day awesome was:

1. The Return of jumping photos:

Jimmy is working on his jumping photo pose! Good thing his big bro is an expert.

2. Touring a Taiwan Coast Guard Boat:

 3. Eating seaside on the harbor while listening to Taylor Swift:

 4. A clown that wasn’t scary and funny eventhough I couldn’t understand him:

I see more than one thing wrong with this.

The OEBE was the first to happen in Kaohsiung and it was actually pretty interesting. We say some GIANT boats, ate some wonderful food, walked around to some booth, watched some clown do magic and ended the night with a wonderful stroll and dinner at the harbor. Andy, Olivia, Hank and Mommy (another wonderful Taiwanese family) joined us for dinner and we got two FREE Juice pitchers! Apparently it was to honor the foreign guest and cause we ordered heaps of food! It was great to watch the sun set behind the mountains while a board a Taiwanese Coast Guard boat. 

Kaohsiung love!

Pig's Blood, On the rocks please.

You know how every year you look forward to the state fair because even though it is super crowded and smelly you love the fried food and excitement?

You are in luck because in Kaohsiung you can have the experience every night! Today I visited the Ruyifeng Night Market where there are snacks galore and shopping that would tire Tyra Banks herself. Edric, Lucy (Kiwi friend from the Gansu Fellowship program) and I hoped in a taxi and off to the night market we went. My host mother Tina met us there to share her knowledge about local snacks (I thought she wanted for me to eat “snakes” – not happening!). 

Getting some noodles and local snacks because heading to the night market.

Let me just say that everything that was available to eat usually isn’t a part of the animal I would ever consider eating. I started that night off really risky and pushing it to the limit with this seasoned pig’s blood! PIGBLOOD! They mold into what looks like a fudge bar to fool you – Edric said he prefers it natural or ‘on the rocks,’ as Lucy and I put it. It was the taste of thick pasta jello with slight taste flour. Not a fan, but hey, I ate pig’s blood – soon I’ll be biting bat’s heads off too! Just remember the name and remember it well – Zhu Xue Gao, which kind of rhymes of ‘bu hao.’

We look happy because at this point we still don't know what we are about to eat.

The rest of snacks were delicious. We had shrimp filled flat cakes (Don’t’ remember the Chinese), some gluttonous flavored balls, tomatoes filled with dates, quail eggs and a salty sprite made drink. All wonderful, and the night ended with a wonderful ride through the city on the back of my host mother’s motorbike. Awesome.    

Quail eggs.

Flavored balls.

Magical - No Really, they know magic!

Turns our my host brothers are extremely talented! Jimmy (age 8) and Alex (age 12) greeting me at the train station with a beautiful sign that read "Welcome Carlos" - beautiful rainbow bird included!

Immediately my horrible Chinese listening and comprehension is evident as Tina, my host mom, starts shooting me with Chinese sentences to which I nod and pretend to understand. As the day goes, by I start to train her that she should talk to me like I am a five-year old - speak slower I tell her, cause I have no idea what you are saying. By the end of the day though we are managing to have actual conversations where I am still nodding, but this time I actually know what she is saying.

Magic! Remember when they asked me if I knew magic? Who cares - they do! Yes, both of my host brothers appear to have a 'magic teacher!' Yesterday evening before our BBQ they got they magic box out and showed me there magic! Amazing! I hope to learn some of these tricks, but it looks like you need more than just a set of cards to do some of the tricks.

Attended a BBQ last night where I met some of the other participants! Had lots of meat! All there was to eat was meat and it was wonderful. Duck meat, chicken, beef, pork, lamb, clams (meat?), meat, meat, meat! Overall the first day was wonderful and I actually slept through the night!

Happy Birthday Gangsta Man.

Waiting at the airport can be a wonderful place to people watch. I present the Birthday Gansta:

White male, about 27, shaved head, sporting some black denim shorts that could possible by considered capris and a white T. He is rather excited as he takes breaks to puff his electric cigarettes in between his obnoxious comments and chatty activities with the other hopeful passengers. "It's my birthday," he says to invoke a sense of sympathy from his counterparts in the cold, blue & brown stripe carpeted terminal. No one even raises a brown in an attempt to avoid conversation, but he continues to leave his bag unattended and walks around making remarks to appear interesting to the others. "I've had two beers..." crickets chirp because once again no one cares, but some how his faded black, full arm tattoo of a man with horns and what appear to be bad dreadlocks seems more threatening. He sits.

Say Hello To Your Sister!

Well y'all, I'm all packed and ready to go. In celebration of my departure we had a cookies and milk party.

I shared photos of my host family and I am super excited because they are awesome. Although, I really don't know much about them except that they want me to do magic tricks - what's not to like! Just look at how happy they look and they aren't even smiling!

And in celebration of my younger brother (pictured above) we took a group picture at the party! Look at how Asian we look! Amazing.

Tulsa, I will miss you for two weeks, but excited to meet your sister KAOHSIUNG!

Taiwanese Mind Readers!

Having contact with my host family has turned out to be quite entertaining! My little Taiwanese brother has been the family representative and has emailed me quite a few times. So far I know that my mom's name is Tina (English names that is), little brother named Johnny (Age 8), emailing master little brother Alex (Age 12) and my farther (intentionally - Yes, he called him my farther) who doesn't have an English name (I will be sure to give him one, I'm thinking Dumbledore).

Alex's English is rather impressive for a young kid of only 12 years, but sometimes weird things happen thanks to the wonderful process of translating. Prime example:

Alex is casually asking me about what I would like to do in Taiwan and where I would like to go, when all of the sudden I read the following sentence - "By the way, my mother wants me to ask you, are you good at performing arts and magic? (WHAT!) May we see your show when we're on the bus."

MAGIC? PERFORMING ARTS? This family must be a family of mind readers because I happen to be great at magic and performing arts. My juggling show will surely impress them, guess I should start practicing. If only I could get my wand to work!